Caution...Long Blog Post!!! LOL!
Driving home tonight, (a hour commute) I was thinking about my blog post today. I knew I wanted to share a few tips on broken things…my mind went immediately to things, which I have broken that I fixed or at least tried to cover up! Thinking about these CRAZY stunts, I became tickled and began to literally go into outright laughter, the kind that brings tears to your eyes! So, I thought I would share.
Many moons ago, when I was thinner and had more hair, or shall I say when I could bend over and actually tie my shoe without the assistance of a chair… I decorated houses for the holiday season. I was honored to have decorated some of the finest houses, businesses and shopping centers in Austin.
There once was a beautiful lady, which owned a beautiful house on a beautiful hill. Being in the eye of the social set, this lady always did Christmas in a BIG way! Anyway, I was called in to over-wrap her already lit tree. She wanted to be able to see it from miles away!
Hand wrapping a tree with thousands of lights is a LONG LONG process and can literally take a full 8 hours with two people!! So, I over-wrapped this 9-foot artificial tree and it did indeed shine like a Christmas spotlight across the city!
The next morning I received a call from this fine lady, who in discussion with her daughter, had decided the tree had TOO MANY LIGHTS! (I could have told her that!!!) She asked that I come back to the manse and change out every other clear light with a colored one! Being codependent or a good businessman, I wanted to please her! I arrived, looked at the colored lights SHE HAD PURCHASED and immediately knew that these WERE NOT from the same manufacturer as the lights I had purchased to originally wrap the tree. But whatever she wanted, I was just trying to FIX the situation…Just as I thought, these bulbs WOULD NOT fit properly into the sockets of the originals. I had to force them in! Ok, this is heavy, so sit down…did you know… that when a light… that is not meant to go into a socket for which it’s designed…gets warm, it pops out like popcorn from a kettle? Did I also mention that this lady was a BIG ENTERTAINER! I must have gone over to her house 6 times that season looking for bulb-less sockets! Never Again!!….
Or there was the time when I was staging houses…I’m one of those people who must have every picture straight on the wall or it completely throws life out of balance! Yep that’s me! Back to the tale…these folks had a pool table in their dining room! Not exactly my cup of tea, but whatever floats your boat! Also, in this room was a VERY HEAVY knotty pine china cabinet dating back to the 70’s! These two pieces were obviously the main focal points in the room and were totally out of alignment causing the room to be completely off! So, I had to fix it. By the grace of God these folks were out of town giving me the opportunity to move these pieces into a better “feng shui" situation. Alone, I struggled to move the massive china cabinet. Not getting the torque I needed, I wedged myself in between the wall and the cabinet pushing my tail feathers into the wall thus forcing the cabinet to move. Well, it worked… however, my butt went completely through the sheetrock!!! You may have no idea, whatsoever, how to tape and float drywall, but trust me, when you have a hole the size of watermelon in a house that’s not yours, you learn real quick!
Ok, tales over on with the tips:
One of my true loves is hand blown figural Christmas ornaments! I love ‘em! Seriously…LOVE them! So when one of these objet d’art breaks it’s a pretty serious crime in my house!!! LOL! Here’s a tip or two to help save these cherished jewels!
Note this will only work with ornaments that have holes in them. If they are completely shattered, do what I do and bury them in a cigar box in the back yard!
With your hot glue gun, glue generously around the cracked edge. This will stop it from cracking further.
Next, cut some artificial greens from an old wreath or garland that preferably match your tree. Just a sprig will do.
Apply glue to the sprig and set it inside the hole filling the hole completely.
When you place the ornament back on the tree, the hole is completely disguised by the sprig, the crack is mended and no one would know the difference.
Do You Have Legless Bird Ornaments?
If you have lost the original legs or clips to one of your ornaments simply bend a pipe cleaner in half and glue it to the missing area. The pipe cleaners hold the ornament perfectly in place. If you need added support twist the ends around the branch.
I hope this helps! Give it a try! Save those ornaments!
And To All A Good Night...
The Gentleman Crafter
Men Do Scrap Too!